Sheetal Patro

You wake up one morning, in the midst of a jungle, in the U.S.A. The pants are spotted with a huge red blotch. I suggest you women to run to save your soul. Apparently, the Americans believe that bears have a thing towards period blood; I don’t blame their taste buds. You ran hard enough to catch the next flight to end up in Israel. The best thing to do is to protect your cheeks in order to not get slapped. The Israelis believe you will get blessed with beautiful red cheeks throughout your life. A long run done, an urge for a hot shower might arise, please don’t tell your Israeli roommate about it, he/she will warn you that a hot shower will give you a heavy flow. It’s dinnertime, your Argentinean friends have come over, so don’t reveal to them about your chums, for they will restrict you from touching the whipped cream in the fear that it will get curdled, phew! Yes, whip that cream anyway! Don’t tell that one Japanese friend in the group you have rolled that sushi being on your period, he/she might just complain about the taste imbalance in it. It’s morning, it’s a new day, well the second day of your period. 

You are in Malaysia the next morning to attend an office meeting. You decided to change your pad at the airport. It’s midnight, there is a strange sound in the hall, your eyes are witnessing paranormal activities, the ghosts in Malaysia don’t approve of unwashed pads. You cannot fall asleep alone so you decide to call your polish colleague. Coitus might seem tempting at the hour, avoid it if possible. It’s a warning! According to Polish belief, you are deadly to your partner on your period. It’s the third day of your chums now. An old lady from Romania sells flowers near the hotel, the sweet orchid smell is something you want to treat yourself with, the orchid dies upon your touch. Listen to the rant of the old lady patiently; women on periods should avoid touching flowers, it was her mother, her mother who prepared her for that speech.

You are back in the U.S.; your granny is restless in the kitchen. She has cleaned the cucumbers; they are getting prepared for a cucumber pickle. The ideal thing to do would be stay out of her business to avoid blames on you if her pickles go bad from your touch!